Wikipedia:Peer review/Caulfield Grammar School/archive2

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Caulfield Grammar School[edit]

This article has been subject to a previous peer review, and has recently failed a FAC nomination. I would like to see if there is any more that can be done to this article, aside from things already mentioned. Thanks. Harro5 00:06, May 28, 2005 (UTC)

I can't think of anything else. It already seems pretty comprehensive. Thanks. — RJH 16:04, 3 Jun 2005 (UTC)
I spent some time thinking about this one. Out of the actionable objections on the FAC listing, most of them seemed to boil down to "not comprehensive" or "doesn't represent Wikipedia's best work". However, I do think that, for the most recent 5-10 years of the school's history, the article is interesting, comprehensive, and well written. The school hall burned down? The students vandalised the Great Wall of China? Wow, this is the sort of information that illustrates the school's importance. However, information along these lines doesn't appear to be given for the previous 120 years of the school's history. I'm going to assume that the problem wasn't that the school was really boring all that time, but that the references don't effectively illustrate the school's importance.
Most of the references covering the period between 1881 and the mid to late 1990s seem to be either written by or with the school itself. Naturally, these references are going to be somewhat biased; they're not going to mention things like (I'm just making this stuff up; I don't know what really goes on at the school) the violent hazing rituals, the time that the school was the laughingstock of the football league, the rivalry with the school across town that culminates in yearly vandalism, violence, and drunkenness before, during, and after the big game, the time that the school went bankrupt, and so on. Also, they may not go into the underlying detail regarding the events that they do mention. For example, they might mention the school's football championships, when it built its campuses and when it celebrated its 100th anniversary, but not why the school opened these campuses, why it decided to become a boarding school, what sort of competition it had to face in the football league, what the 100th anniversary celebrations were like, and so on.
I have no doubt that verifiable information on these events exists; the problem is how to find it. If you're lucky, there might be some stuff in the local history section of the local library that provides more information about significant events in the school's history. If not, but you have been able to find rough dates and you don't mind investing a fair bit of time in this venture, you might be able to flesh out some of the events via a visit to the library's microfilm room. There might be other good sources that I'm not aware of. This might end up being a time-consuming venture but it should make for a great article.
The other thing that might be beneficial is to reorganise the article so that more of the article content is in a "History" section, rather than in sections about the campuses, school activities, etc. Hope this helps, JYolkowski // talk 02:04, 9 Jun 2005 (UTC)
I am currently looking for someone to have a good read of the article and try to correct some criticism that the prose isn't quite right. Thanks. Harro5 11:09, Jun 10, 2005 (UTC)